Friday, February 26, 2010

What is a living wage?

So I may have started some controversy when I claimed that I paid no Federal Income taxes last year (none was deducted from my paychecks). I have a simple and legal step by step method that can work for almost anyone1:
  1. Get two jobs.
  2. Have 25% inflation between the year 2000 and 2010.
  3. Receive a 7% pay decrease from one job over 10 years.
  4. Receive a 7% pay increase from the other job over 10 years.
  5. Increase your number of dependents by a factor of 8.
Now, having a drastic cut in effective income is not always a bad thing. I have learned and experienced a lot of generosity over the years. There are still many generous people in the world that will help out people in need. It also shows how it is possible for one to live on a meager income. As many people decrease their income due to the recession, there are some tips I think I can give:

Don't spend money! Ok, ok, you've heard it before, don't spend more than you can afford. This is not what I mean. I mean don't spend more than you absolutely need. Do you need to buy new furniture? No! I have not bought a single piece. What about new clothes? Nope. So many people buy new clothes, I am able to use what they toss. Also, you can wear the same clothes for 20 years. It is possible! I wear the same coat I got second hand more than 15 years ago. Vacation? Have a staycation---just kidding. But really, if you can't afford it, you should find a cheaper way to relax. There are many other things as well, but it seems these are ones that many people forget. Folks, it's time to learn to tighten your (used) belt---time to learn how to not spend money.

1 Possible side effects may include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, high blood pressure, and alcoholism. Please talk to your tax accountant before considering this approach. This approach is known to the state of California to cause cancer.

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